A little bit of everything

So, if you’ve been reading this blog, you know there’s plenty of penis-shaped dessert tools out there, from cake pans to lollipop molds to cookie cutters. If you saw that one fairly immature post of mine (which I kind of hope you didn’t) you know there’s also no shortage of boob-shaped similar tools. So if you want desserts that look like either of those things, the internet’s got you covered. But what if you want both? Maybe it’s for a Jack & Jill party where you do the bachelorette and bachelor parties together, or maybe you’re a bunch of girls who just want to eat little chocolate boobs as much as chocolate dicks. I was thinking about that, and I looked around, and sure enough, there are some sets that come with both shapes. So here they are.

First, if you want cookies, I found a set of cookie cutters that comes with two penis-shaped cutters and one boobs-shaped.

But if you were a fan of the chocolate lollipops I posted a while back, well, you’re in luck too, because I also found this mold for both penis and boob-shaped lollipops.

So that covers the smaller desserts. If you want two cakes, one of each um “gender” well, you’ll just have to buy the two separate cake pans (or get really creative with pans you already have). But that’s not too bad. But if you want both kinds of cookies or chocolate lollipops, hopefully these will work for you. I thought it was a pretty good find, I just hope there are some of you out there who can appreciate a little gender neutrality in your risque desserts, haha!

-Olivia

Weird Cake Pan

Okay, I know you might be looking at that title and thinking it’s kind of odd or inappropriate. Who am I to call a cake pan weird, if I love making cakes shaped like penises? Well, just bear with me. If you can believe it, I think you’ll find this one even more disturbing than the idea of a penis cake pan. Ta-da:

Yeah. Look at that bizarre-looking thing. And the worst (or best) part is, they call it the “sexy man cake pan.” I don’t know, if you ask me, that man’s anything but sexy. Look at how deformed the face is. All his “muscles” look like mush. And it looks like he has the groin area of a ken doll. I don’t know whose definition of sexy that is, but it isn’t mine. Then again, I suppose you can smooth all of that out by baking and frosting the cake. It would probably look better as a finished dessert than as a pan. Still, unless you’re a master artist with the frosting brush, I don’t know how you could make this thing look remotely attractive... but hey, it’s an option, I guess, so when I saw it I thought I’d post it. Also, the one feedback it has does give a pretty good suggestion - you could frost it with clothes to make it suitable (no pun intended!) for a party where you don’t want any penises or anything. So maybe there is something that can be done to redeem this guy. If any of you have any other ideas, go ahead and share them!

-Olivia

Candles

Happy holidays everyone! I was baking a cake for a New Year’s party I’m going to (that’s right, bachelorette parties aren’t the only ones I’m known for baking for!) and I figured out what I could make this post about. Last time I promised to start talking about cakes again, but I was honestly having trouble coming up with a topic for my next post. Well, this isn’t about making the cake itself, but it’s something very important for any good cake: candles! And naturally, if you’re baking a penis-shaped cake, there’s only one kind of candle you can use. You guessed it!


Penis-shaped! These are just two options to choose from, but there’s plenty more out there I’m sure. Here’s the link to the first and to the second. Penis-shaped candles are really the obvious thing to put on a penis-shaped cake, but even if you have a regular cake (maybe you were too embarrassed to have a penis-shaped cake pan lying around the house) you can add these to make it more fun and in the spirit of the party. I’ve found that girls (at least my friends) find the candles especially funny because they get to make jokes about burning the little penises. Whether your friends are prone to that sort of humor or not, they’ll at least find these candles funny, no matter what you cake is shaped like, so I definitely recommend these!

-Olivia

Ice Cube Tray

Okay, I know, this is getting even farther away from cakes now. This isn’t even a dessert thing. But it’s another penis-shaped food (or drink as the case may be) item that I thought of that I’ve used before and I thought it would be worth mentioning here on the blog. Okay, you already know what I’m talking about from the title, so I’ll cut to the chase:

Yup, penis-shaped ice cube trays. These are great for making ice cubes for drinks to serve at your bachelorette party. I’ve only hosted a few parties before (most of the time I was just in charge of the cake for another girl planning the party), but I used these and they went over really well. This isn’t exactly the tray I used but I couldn’t find the one I used online and this one looked pretty good. And this comes with 2 trays of 8 ice cubes each, so if you get a couple of these and freeze ice a couple of times before the party you should be all set. Plus, the name of this is really clever and funny - blue balls, haha! Classic.
I also found this one which makes more detailed ice cubes but they’re smaller I guess.

But I thought I’d post it for variety of options. Anyways, sorry about this deviation from the topic that the blog is supposed to be about, but I hope it helped. I’ll get back to tips for penis-shaped cakes next time, I promise!

-Olivia

Chocolate Penis Pops

Today, we’re going to depart even farther from cakes - this time it’s not even technically a baked good! But it’s still a penis-shaped dessert that’s tasty and great for bachelorette parties, so I guess it fits under what this blog’s all about. This is an easy one to make that can be used as a finger food-type dessert for a little variety. Have you ever seen those baking chocolates at the grocery and wondered what they were for? Or maybe you know that you can use them to make molded chocolate snacks. Well, I bet you didn’t know (although you probably guessed) that you can use them to make chocolate penises on sticks! It’s actually really easy to do. All you need is a mold and some baking chocolates to melt down. You can find the chocolate at any grocery store (I’ve even seen it at a craft store that had a baking section before), but the penis-shape mold might be a little harder to find. Here’s a good one:

All you have to do is melt the chocolate down, fill the mold, stick some lollipop sticks in (you can also find these where you find your chocolate), and stick it in the freezer to cool for a couple of hours. It only takes a couple of hours for them to cool, so you can make these kind of last minute, but just to be safe I usually let them sit in there over night. Anyways, I would totally recommend these for your party, because cakes can be sort of hit or miss - some girls don’t like certain flavors, some just won’t allow themselves to eat cake because they think it’s by default too fat (which is ridiculous). But honestly, what girl doesn’t love chocolate, and little chocolate penises, no less?

-Olivia

Cookie Cutters

Geez, last time it was cupcakes, and now cookies. You would think I don’t make cakes at all! Well, I don’t think I have any other items to share with you that I use for making cakes, so I’m going through different things I use to make other penis-shaped food. Today I’ll show you the cookie cutters I use.

These cookie cutters work great for making penis-shaped cookies for bachelorettes. They’re not really anything special, but they’re sturdy and reliable and there’s three different sizes which can actually be really useful. The smallest size works good for making cookies to put on top of cakes sometimes. As for the other ones, I usually make a batch or two of penis-shaped cookies to have at the party in addition to a cake. Sometimes if it doesn’t seem like there’s going to be a lot to do, I even bring frosting and sprinkles and other things so the girls can decorate their own cookies. It’s actually really fun, especially if everyone’s a bit tipsy. Just make sure nobody’s too drunk or they could make a huuuge mess... and nobody wants to clean that up! Cookies are always great to have for people to munch on if you haven’t brought the cake out yet or if it’s already gone. They tend to last a pretty long time.

-Olivia

Cupcake Pans

So, I’ve been talking a lot about penis-shape cakes (obviously), and I’ve talked about a couple of different pans. But there’s a kind I’ve neglected to mention so far. Something a little different than the usual penis cake: cupcakes. Sometimes, you don’t want to make a full cake for a bachelorette. It probably makes it feel too much like a birthday party, which it isn’t. So when I’m in the right mood or the bride-to-be requests it, I switch it up and make cupcakes instead. Here’s the pan I use for that.

There’s only six molds in the pan, and you’ll probably want to make more than just six cupcakes. You could just do six at a time, but I personally have three of these, so that when I make cupcakes for a party I can save some time. I’m usually making the cakes the day of the party, so they’re really fresh. But I don’t want to risk running too late with them, so I’ve got more pans than just one. But you can do whatever you want. Anyways, if you or your bachelorette is a fan of cupcakes or you just want smaller finger foods for the ladies at your party, this is the cake pan I’d recommend for making those. Oh, and a tip, it isn’t non-stick so you’ll have to spray it down before baking.

-Olivia