Ice Cube Tray

Okay, I know, this is getting even farther away from cakes now. This isn’t even a dessert thing. But it’s another penis-shaped food (or drink as the case may be) item that I thought of that I’ve used before and I thought it would be worth mentioning here on the blog. Okay, you already know what I’m talking about from the title, so I’ll cut to the chase:

Yup, penis-shaped ice cube trays. These are great for making ice cubes for drinks to serve at your bachelorette party. I’ve only hosted a few parties before (most of the time I was just in charge of the cake for another girl planning the party), but I used these and they went over really well. This isn’t exactly the tray I used but I couldn’t find the one I used online and this one looked pretty good. And this comes with 2 trays of 8 ice cubes each, so if you get a couple of these and freeze ice a couple of times before the party you should be all set. Plus, the name of this is really clever and funny - blue balls, haha! Classic.
I also found this one which makes more detailed ice cubes but they’re smaller I guess.

But I thought I’d post it for variety of options. Anyways, sorry about this deviation from the topic that the blog is supposed to be about, but I hope it helped. I’ll get back to tips for penis-shaped cakes next time, I promise!

-Olivia

Chocolate Penis Pops

Today, we’re going to depart even farther from cakes - this time it’s not even technically a baked good! But it’s still a penis-shaped dessert that’s tasty and great for bachelorette parties, so I guess it fits under what this blog’s all about. This is an easy one to make that can be used as a finger food-type dessert for a little variety. Have you ever seen those baking chocolates at the grocery and wondered what they were for? Or maybe you know that you can use them to make molded chocolate snacks. Well, I bet you didn’t know (although you probably guessed) that you can use them to make chocolate penises on sticks! It’s actually really easy to do. All you need is a mold and some baking chocolates to melt down. You can find the chocolate at any grocery store (I’ve even seen it at a craft store that had a baking section before), but the penis-shape mold might be a little harder to find. Here’s a good one:

All you have to do is melt the chocolate down, fill the mold, stick some lollipop sticks in (you can also find these where you find your chocolate), and stick it in the freezer to cool for a couple of hours. It only takes a couple of hours for them to cool, so you can make these kind of last minute, but just to be safe I usually let them sit in there over night. Anyways, I would totally recommend these for your party, because cakes can be sort of hit or miss - some girls don’t like certain flavors, some just won’t allow themselves to eat cake because they think it’s by default too fat (which is ridiculous). But honestly, what girl doesn’t love chocolate, and little chocolate penises, no less?

-Olivia

Cookie Cutters

Geez, last time it was cupcakes, and now cookies. You would think I don’t make cakes at all! Well, I don’t think I have any other items to share with you that I use for making cakes, so I’m going through different things I use to make other penis-shaped food. Today I’ll show you the cookie cutters I use.

These cookie cutters work great for making penis-shaped cookies for bachelorettes. They’re not really anything special, but they’re sturdy and reliable and there’s three different sizes which can actually be really useful. The smallest size works good for making cookies to put on top of cakes sometimes. As for the other ones, I usually make a batch or two of penis-shaped cookies to have at the party in addition to a cake. Sometimes if it doesn’t seem like there’s going to be a lot to do, I even bring frosting and sprinkles and other things so the girls can decorate their own cookies. It’s actually really fun, especially if everyone’s a bit tipsy. Just make sure nobody’s too drunk or they could make a huuuge mess... and nobody wants to clean that up! Cookies are always great to have for people to munch on if you haven’t brought the cake out yet or if it’s already gone. They tend to last a pretty long time.

-Olivia

Cupcake Pans

So, I’ve been talking a lot about penis-shape cakes (obviously), and I’ve talked about a couple of different pans. But there’s a kind I’ve neglected to mention so far. Something a little different than the usual penis cake: cupcakes. Sometimes, you don’t want to make a full cake for a bachelorette. It probably makes it feel too much like a birthday party, which it isn’t. So when I’m in the right mood or the bride-to-be requests it, I switch it up and make cupcakes instead. Here’s the pan I use for that.

There’s only six molds in the pan, and you’ll probably want to make more than just six cupcakes. You could just do six at a time, but I personally have three of these, so that when I make cupcakes for a party I can save some time. I’m usually making the cakes the day of the party, so they’re really fresh. But I don’t want to risk running too late with them, so I’ve got more pans than just one. But you can do whatever you want. Anyways, if you or your bachelorette is a fan of cupcakes or you just want smaller finger foods for the ladies at your party, this is the cake pan I’d recommend for making those. Oh, and a tip, it isn’t non-stick so you’ll have to spray it down before baking.

-Olivia

Disposable Pans

So I was thinking, and chances are most of you out there don’t share my passion for baking. You might just want to make a penis-shaped cake for a party and then never have anything to do with them again. And while that greatly saddens me (not really), I understand where you’re coming from. The uses of a penis cake pan are limited. It’s not like you can re-use it at a kid’s birthday party! So if you only expect to make one or two cakes, you don’t need to get a reusable pan like I have. If you want to save some money, you can just get this set of 2 disposable cake pans.

And if you want a slightly bigger cake, like my jumbo cake pan makes, there’s a set of 2 jumbo disposable pans as well. It looks the same, but it’s a couple inches bigger. And again, it’s cheaper than the reusable jumbo pan. So if you want to be done with baking penis cakes forever (or at least for the foreseeable future) after your bachelorette party, this is probably the way to go.

-Olivia

Another cake pan

Wow, I was looking back at that post from last week again and I just want to say sorry again. I was acting like a total bitch. But I’m not going to get into that any more, so anyways.

Today I just want to show you another penis-shaped cake pan that I use sometimes. Here it is:

You can find it here. It’s a bit smaller than the jumbo cake pan I use, so I wouldn’t recommend it for a large party, but it can feed about eight or ten people, in my experience. There isn’t really much special to say about it, I just use it sometimes to switch things up, since it’s a little differently shaped from the others. There are quite a few pans out there to choose from based on your personal preference of shape, so I’ll show you some more as I find them. That’s all for now!

-Olivia

I'm Sorry

No real post today. I just want to apologize for my last post. I had other problems going on in my life and I took it out on the blog. I was misdirecting my anger. I have nothing against boob-shaped cake pans, and the people who called me out on being a hypocrite are right. If I can bake my penis-shaped cakes, guys are just as entitled to their boob-shaped ones. I hope that last outburst won’t stop any of you from reading my blog. Sorry again.

-Olivia

Something for the guys...

Why are guys so immature?

I was out running with my boyfriend earlier today, and we were talking about the blog. He knows I make penis-shaped cakes, and he thinks it’s absolutely hilarious. Of course he does. Well, today he suggested I see if there are any boob-shaped cake pans. Because, you know, I have to be fair to both sexes. He started on some bs rant about gender equality and all that. In short, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and was just trying to piss me off. Well, guess what, it worked. And here you go, for all the guys out there demanding gender equality, here’s your damn boobie cake pan.

There you go. Happy now? I hope you choke on it.

Ladies, I’m sorry. This probably isn’t really that big of a deal, and I’m just overreacting. And I probably shouldn’t be posting this while I’m still angry at him. I’m sure I’ll regret it. But the men have to have their boobie cake pan asap. Ugh, there are just so many ways he’s immature sometimes. It’s like I’m dating a child. He knows I’m not really angry about this, and he and I both know what I’m really angry about. And he still won’t apologize. Oh well, that’s not what this blog is for, so I’m not going to get into that. That’s all for now, enjoy your boobie cake pans, you immature little boys.

-Olivia

Decoration Tips

Alright, so, let’s say you’ve got your penis cake, fresh out of the oven. It looks delicious, and it’s shaped like a penis, but it doesn’t quite look right. Well, of course not! For one thing, it’s probably not the right color, if you’ve used any cake mix I’ve ever heard of. You’re probably wondering how to make your penis the right color. What I’ve found works best is Wilton brand Copper color icing. Works perfectly. If you want to make the right color using vanilla frosting and the standard dyes you can buy from the grocery store, you’ll want to mix in 8 drops of yellow, 6 drops of red, and 2 drops of green. Yeah, I know the green sounds a little out of place. But I promise, it works.

Now, you’ve frosted your cake, but it’s still missing something. Maybe around the ball area? If you’d like to add some “hair” to your cake to make it more realistic, Chocolate Jimmies will work great. It’s as simple as that! Now, if you want to add a finishing touch – emphasis on finishing – to your cake, simply squeeze out some white frosting in the right place on whatever tray you’re transporting the cake on. And voila, your cake is a decorated and fully realistic representation!

-Olivia

Cake pans

I don’t have a lot of time to write, but I wanted to make my first blog post today real quick. Just want to share some of the pans I use to make my penis cakes, to start things off. The main one I use is this.

It makes great looking cakes, it only takes a half a box of cake mix, and it’s durable so you can use it over and over again, unlike some cake pans that are disposable. I’m still using the second one of these I ever bought, and that’s only because I lost the first one at a friend’s house one night. There’s also a jumbo version of it available, which looks the same but uses a full box of cake mix.

This isn’t the only pan I use, but I’ve really got to go now, so I’ll have to tell you about the others another time. Bye for now!

-Olivia

Hey Everybody

I’m Olivia, but everyone I’ve ever been to a bachelorette party with knows me best by my unofficial title – the penis cake queen. I know it probably doesn’t sound like too great a reputation to have to any of you, but I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way. See, I love baking, and ever since I went to my first bachelorette party, I’ve brought a penis-shaped cake with me to every one. They’ve always been a huge hit, and all the girls love them. On this blog, I want to share my ideas and tips with other bachelorette party bakers out there. I’ll post baking advice, cake pans I’ve used, stuff like that to help you girls out. Please, let me know what’s worked for you and what hasn’t. Looking forward to chatting with all of you!

-Olivia